Since I set the formulae 'Fart the Fear out’, my body has been able to only fart the small ones out, the bigger ones come one at a time, instead of attacking all together! Thanks to the anxiety pill, I guess they’ve got the message loud and clear that if they come all together, the effect of the pill puts my brain and body to sleep. Thus their entire fundamental to give me an anxiety attack becomes futile.

But even my fears have a mind of their own and I must say they’re clever! So, now as the big ones come one at a time, I had to set another formulae to handle them. I started to use the power of imagination.

Earlier I would wait for my mind to calm down from the anxiety attack and then try to find its root cause and then try & uproot the cause from a limited memory of the past, which was really time consuming since complete root removal is a very lengthy process. Mostly because there would be leftover threads of roots deep inside the darkness of my unconscious or subconscious.

So NOW I just imagine Fear as an ugly looking mass (not an invisible feeling anymore) and catch hold of their necks (in Bengali we say ‘gheti’) and pull that ugly mass from my beautiful mind and throw it into my imagined pit of fire, leaving no chance for it to come back. And this method has worked like magic!

SUGGESTIONS I give thyself

Rest, the day went quite well, almost maintained a joyous straight line of emotions. And whenever I pushed my fears into the fire-pit, the sky lit with fireworks! Just kidding, the night was that of Holi celebration and Shab-e-Brat, thus A Night of Cleansing.

Day 49

Part 1


Post Meltdown. Nervous wreck. 50 day series. Best if read back to front, from Choosing Medium.